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Positive Qualities

Definition

A positive quality is a personality trait that contributes to the psychological well-being of ourselves or others, and increases our ability to function well in the world, in a healthy and ethical (moral) way.

All people are born with the potential for these inner qualities. With the right training and practice, these qualities can be strengthened and expressed to a greater extent. Without proper guidance, these traits may remain weak, or even be blocked by harmful thought patterns and behaviors.

The following repository is incomplete, and additional qualities can be added to it.

Groups:

Qualities of relation to Self

Self love

[TBD]

Self compassion

[TBD]

Self listening

[TBD]

Positive self image

[TBD]

Qualities of self management

Self Awareness

Self awareness is having knowledge of what is going on inside our psyche. This includes both the content of the Self at this moment: sensations, emotions, thoughts, desires, etc. as well as general knowledge of the structure and nature of the psyche, personality, values, goals, motivations, etc.

Self Control

Self control (also: Self regulation) is the ability to regulate one’s emotions, thoughts, and behavior to achieve specific goals, in particular in the face of impulses, temptations, and challenging situations.

Self Discipline

Self discipline is the ability to create new habits of thought and action with the purpose of improving oneself and achieving one’s goals. This includes using willpower, as well as delaying immediate gratifications for a future benefit (both of these should be used only when necessary, without overdoing it).

Temperance

Temperance is voluntary moderation and self-restraint from going to extremes or excesses. E.g. consuming foods and beverages in moderation without getting to a state of obesity, drunkenness, or addiction. Also restraint from rage and vengeance, from arrogance, from extravagant luxury, etc. (Opposite: addiction, extremism, gluttony)

Patience

Patience is a willingness and ability to respond to delay without restlessness, annoyance, complaining, etc. (Opposite: Impatience)

Diligence

Diligence is putting persistent, dedicated, and earnest effort into achieving a goal. (Opposite: procrastination, laziness, negligence)

Cleanliness

Cleanliness is habitually maintaining one’s body and surroundings clean, and practicing good hygiene.

Orderliness

Orderliness is habitually maintaining one’s surroundings organized, orderly, uncluttered.

Self Care

[TBD: Taking care of your health and body, i.e. eating healthy, physical exercise, going to doctors regularly, etc.]

Qualities of effectiveness

Effectiveness

Effectiveness is the ability to achieve a desired result. The following are traits that increase the chances of being effective.

Efficiency

Efficiency is the ability to achieve a desired result with the least amount of effort, time, and resources.

Long-term thinking

Long-term thinking is taking into consideration, before actually acting, the long-term effects of current actions as well as one’s long-term goals. This is in contrast to focusing only on short-term actions and goals, which can often be at the expense of desirable future results.

Proactivity

Proactivity is initiating action in advance of an anticipated future change or difficulty in order to better handle it. Taking control and making things happen rather than just reacting, adjusting to a situation, or waiting for something to happen. Taking the initiative rather than waiting for others to act or being asked to act. (Opposite: reactivity, passivity)

Adaptiveness

Adaptiveness (also: Flexibility) is being able to adjust oneself readily to changing circumstances. (Opptiste: rigidity)

Punctuality

Punctuality is strict observance of an appointed time, not being late. Also related to being respectful of others’ time. (Opposite: tardiness)

Meticulousness

Meticulousness is doing tasks precisely and carefully, thoroughly, with attention to details, in order to perform the task well. (Opposite: hastiness, sloppiness, carelessness)

Qualities in the face of challenges

Positive attitude

Positive attitude means focusing on the full half rather than the empty half of the glass, focusing on finding solutions rather than being stuck on the problems. Seeing every obstacle and challenge as an opportunity for self growth, for exercising and strengthening our positive character traits. It’s taking personal responsibility rather than being stuck in a self-defeating pattern of complaining and victimhood. A growth mindset rather than a fixed mindset. (Opposite: negative attitude)

Focusing on the desired

[TBD: To believe and tell myself that I am capable. Focus on what I can do, not what I cannot do. Take personal responsibility and not get stuck in the defeatist pattern of complaining and victimhood.]

Determination

Determination (also: Decisiveness, Resoluteness) is firmness of purpose, reaching definite conclusions regarding one’s goals, with no hesitation. (Opposite: indecisiveness)

Perseverance

Perseverance (also: Persistence, Tenacity) is to continue steadfastly and firmly in the pursuit of a task, mission, or journey in spite of obstacles, discouragement, opposition, distractions, fatigue, frustration, or previous failure. (Opposite: giving up)

Resourcefulness

Resourcefulness (also: ingenuity) is the ability to cope skillfully and promptly with new situations, difficulties, or unusual problems, by finding clever, inventive, and original solutions. (Opposite: incompetence)

Equanimity

Equanimity is mental and emotional stability, composure, the ability to remain calm, think sensibly and act carefully, especially under stressful circumstances. (Opposite: agitation, anxiety, hysteria, rashness, irrationality)

Courage

Courage (also: Bravery, Valor) is the choice, willingness, and ability to confront a situation that poses danger, uncertainty, or intimidation, for the sake of a worthy goal. This ability allows one to overcome pain or emotions of fear and agony, and to act in spite of them according to what one believes is the correct course of action. Physical courage is the ability to act in the face of physical pain, hardship, even death or a threat of death. Moral (or ethical) courage is the ability to act according to one’s values and convictions in the face of popular opposition, shame, scandal, discouragement, or personal loss. (Opposite: cowardice)

Boldness

Boldness (also: Daringness, Audacity) is a willingness to do things despite risks such as shame or rejection in social situations. Determination in facing great danger, especially in battle. (Opposite: timidity, cowardice, shyness)

Resiliency

Resiliency is the ability to overcome significant adversity, usually in the form of difficult personal circumstances, a life changing event, a crisis, or a chaotic situation. It has the following properties:

  • Ability to mentally and emotionally cope with the situation
  • Adaptive response to the situation, remaining calm, responding rather than reacting to the situation
  • After the crisis is over, returning to pre-crisis status quickly, without long-term negative consequences

Hardiness 

Hardiness is having the courage and motivation to do the hard, strategic work of turning stressful circumstances from potential disasters into growth opportunities, while persisting through difficult circumstances and remaining healthy under stress.

Faith

Faith, as a positive quality, is having confidence and trust in one’s abilities, and belief that one’s efforts will succeed in attaining a desired future outcome, without doubt or hesitation. This is augmented by a belief that reality will also present resources and opportunities that will assist in that effort. There is a fine line between healthy useful faith on the one hand and unrealistic wishful thinking on the other hand. While faith is by definition the ability to believe that one can achieve a certain result even though it’s impossible to prove it with certainty, it does not mean ignoring or dismissing facts and evidence to the contrary, but rather having nonetheless good enough reasons to support one’s conviction. Faith allows us to maintain our motivation and efforts even when the complexities of reality make it unrealistic or impossible to achieve a high degree of certainty through rational reasoning alone.

Optimism

[TBD]

Humor

[TBD]

Ability to ask for help

[TBD]

Grit

Grit = Perseverance + Passion

Fortitude

Fortitude = Courage + Perseverance + Patience

Qualities related to kindness

Note: The qualities in this section are phrased towards others. But they are all also relevant to a one’s attitude towards one’s self.

Politeness

Politeness (also: Courtesy) is showing good manners and behaving in a civilized way toward others so as not to offend them and make them feel more comfortable. For example, not shouting, cursing, ridiculing, disrupting someone’s speech. (Opposite: rudeness)

Consideration

Consideration (being considerate of others) means being aware of and caring about another person’s feelings and wishes, showing regard for them, and taking them into account when deciding on one’s actions. This is in order to minimize disturbing them and to respect their personal boundaries. For example, trying not to make noise that disturbs others, and leaving every place clean and without garbage, in a better condition than we found it. (Opposite: inconsideration, egotism)

Friendliness

Friendliness means being approachable, being open to talk and relate, smiling, showing a pleasant disposition, trying to make others feel at ease, being considerate of others, and showing affection. (Opposite: coldness, hostility, being reserved)

Fairness

Fairness means treating others in a just manner, as you would like to be treated, without deceit, fraud, or exploitation.

Reliability

Reliability (also: Trustworthiness) means to present things in a true, complete and accurate manner that can be trusted, and to act in a dependable manner, a way that others can rely upon.

Toleration

Toleration is acceptance of, or at least patience with, the beliefs and practices of others, even when you disagree or dislike them. Not interfering with them or prohibiting them. Also the opposite of prejudice and discrimination. [A discussion is needed here about the proper boundaries of toleration.] (Opposite: intolerance)

Compassion

Compassion is having sensitivity to the suffering of another, allowing ourselves to be moved by their suffering, and experiencing a motivation to help alleviate it. While sympathy is responding from sorrow and concern, compassion is responding with warmth and care. (Opposite: harshness, animosity, cruelty)

Empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within their frame of reference. To be sensitive enough to detect the other person’s emotions. It’s the capacity to understand another person’s point of view, to place oneself in another’s position. While sympathy is more distant – concern but not shared emotion, empathy is stronger – understanding and sharing the other’s emotion. (Opposite: apathy, disdain)

Emotional containment

Emotional containment is the ability to withstand painful emotions without getting carried away by them and without them activating us. For example, when we are faced with a burst of anger towards us, emotional containment allows us to see the situation in a neutral way, as a natural emotional expression of the other, and observe it compassionately, without feeling anger or fear in response (or at least in low intensity). Similarly, emotional containment towards ourselves allows us, on the one hand, to experience the painful emotions that exist as a part of us, without forgetting our true Essence, and without these emotions taking over our consciousness and managing it.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim of an offense undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding the offense or the offender, and overcomes negative emotions such as resentment and vengeance or a desire for punishment or retribution (however justified they might be). Forgiveness does not mean excusing the offender from their responsibility, and it may or may not include waiving the desire for compensation. It is based on the understanding that everyone is limited by their own knowledge and abilities. Forgiveness may be in communication with the offender, but it may also focus only on releasing the hold on negative emotions that may actually hurt the victim himself. [A discussion is needed here about the proper boundaries of forgiveness.] (Opposite: blame, punishment)

Generosity

Generosity is being willing to donate time, talents, money, or other resources in order to help another. A special kind of generosity is charity or selfless service that is performed without any expectation of award or recognition for the volunteer. (Opposite: stinginess, selfishness) See more…

Authenticity

[TBD: This is not so much related to kindness, but to our relationships with others. Showing yourself as you truly are. Openness, candor, showing vulnerability. Not hiding or being shy.]

Qualities related to wisdom

Wisdom

Wisdom is the ability to apply relevant knowledge in an insightful way, especially to different situations from those in which the knowledge was gained. The ability to make a decision and to act based on the combination of knowledge, experience, understanding, common sense and intuition. Having the power of discerning and judging properly as to what is true or right coupled with just judgment as to action. It is associated with attributes such as unbiased judgment, non-attachment, experiential self-knowledge, taking into account the large picture and different points of view, as well as compassion and benevolence. (Opposite: thoughtlessness, stupidity)

Humility

Humility means being humble, having a realistic and not exaggerated estimate of one’s own knowledge and importance. Admitting when one does not know something rather than pretending to know. Also not trying to impress others. It does not mean low self-regard, a sense of unworthiness, or self humiliation. It is different from modesty which often means having an opinion of oneself which is lower than realistic. (Opposite: arrogance, pretentiousness, boastfulness, vanity, narcissism) More…

Curiosity

Curiosity is an eagerness and desire to learn or know about something, to acquire knowledge, to discover and understand how things work, by asking questions, investigating, or exploring. Also being open-minded. (Opposite: indifference, boredom)

Studiousness

[TBD]

Creativity

Creativity is the ability to use imagination to produce a novel idea or useful object. It also includes originality, the ability to transcend traditional ideas and to create meaningful new ideas or interpretations. Approaches to problem solving which are imaginative, unconventional, or from a new perspective – “thinking outside the box”. (Opposite: unimaginative)

Qualities related to spirituality

Connection to a spiritual source

[TBD: using the imagination of connecting to a source of spiritual energy that gives energy to body and mind]

Appreciation of the good

[TBD: paying attention to the good things and appreciating them, a sense of gratitude to the world]

Admiration, wonder

[TBD: as children admire small things that are perceived by the physical senses, such as colors, shapes, games of light and shadow, sounds, smells, tastes, touch, leaves, flowers, butterflies, sand, clouds. To connect to the feeling of admiration and wonder as children have, and to add the admiration of the quality of the simulation, and to enjoy it]

Bridging over emotions

[Complete: When the emotional part is stuck in a painful pit, a connection to the soul allows one to think and act out of the positive qualities even though it does not “feel” to the mind as the right or desired thing to do. Examples such as speaking in front of an audience despite stage fright, or starting a conversation with someone despite fear of rejection. Emotions can be very crippling, whereas adhering to a connection to the soul can help overcome it.]

Spiritual assimilation

[TBD: daily investment in directing the mind on connection to the soul, connection to the positive qualities, daily mention and study, rituals. To live it and assimilate it. Otherwise the nature of the simulation is such that the negative parts of the mind creep more and more into consciousness and create damage. To invest in preparing in advance for emotional emergencies and in general, prevention and self-empowerment, and not just in coping after there is a deterioration of the mind to painful emotional storms and suffering]

Spiritual pleasure

[TBD: The ability to bring spiritual pleasure and fun to any action. Not just to seek pleasure on the physical plane and physical success]

Freedom

[TBD: Of course, we don’t have total freedom to do everything we think of. We can’t just levitate in the air. We can’t survive for years without eating and drinking. But most people are confined by limiting beliefs which are merely imaginary, either personal or social. E.g. a person may believe that he must marry, or marry specific kinds of people, because of a belief he absorbed from his surroundings. But the spirit is free, and it’s important to see in which ways we needlessly limit our freedom.]

Acceptance

Acceptance means consenting to reality as it is without resisting it. This is one of the highest qualities and also one of the most challenging to manifest, because our biological and mental system is built to create within us psychological suffering whose role is to motivate us to act to change our situation and stop the suffering. Yet this mechanism can often get us stuck in mental suffering when we are facing a situation in reality that we are unable to change, at least for the time being. [For more discussion – reference to a suitable chapter. Also see non-attachment.] (Opposite: Resistance)

Bliss

[TBD. Also take relevant info from ecstasy, religious ecstasy, euphoria]